There is a scourge on our culture that needs to end and it needs to end now.  Something so pathetic that it makes me cringe.  Would I go so far as to say that it reaches the level of being evil?  Well, for the sake of this particular blog that requires that it does reach that level, then yes, I think it’s evil.

This evil appears to be jovial and attractive.  The news this evil is presenting helps one of the sexes more than the other, but both benefit the majority of the time.  This evil cares not about racial divides for this evil believes in equal opportunity to offend.  This evil has believes in presenting stereotypical images about a profession that is thousands of years old, but can be perceived as more of a hobby than a profession to most people.  This evil has taken something that has been cherished for millions for decades and poisoned its memory for future generations.

This evil I’m talking about is the VIVA VIAGRA television campaign.   It must be stopped and it must be stopped now before it does more damage.  Everyone involved in this campaign from the advertising firm, the directors, the actors, the copyright owners of songwriters of VIVA LAS VEGAS, to the Elvis estate for allowing that incredible song to be used in this ridiculous way should be sent straight to bed with no dinner, or Viagra for that matter. 

There are so many things wrong with these commercials that in a perfect world would require a 250 page book to suitably explain.  Knowing that, I will adhere to one of my favorite phrases, "Brevity is the soul of wit".

How convenient that a bunch of guys who are of the age to use Viagra are all together in a funky Blues roadhouse.  Not surprisingly, they also have instruments with them.  This in turn must mean they’re musicians.   If that is the case, which is obviously is, then of course the must "Jam".  Musicians aren’t allowed to gather without "jamming".  From this holy "Jam", a brilliant idea sprung forth from one of the horny Viagra obsessed musicians.  The idea was set forth; let’s destroy a legendary song for future generations and have our children and their children’s children associate this great song with the pursuit of the physical equivalent of the male four hour standing ovation.

Miraculously they all knew the song and they all, spontaneously mind you, contribute lyrics.  While they are doing this, they are extremely happy and quite proud of themselves.  At least their faces are happy.  What’s stoking the fire down below isn’t as happy, thus the reason for this masculine melody to call upon the duties that Viagra happily provides.

I haven’t been in need of Viagra in my life.  Perhaps circumstances whether medical, or simply as I get older, I will need to consider using Viagra.  However, if ever the situation called upon me to consider using Viagra, I damn sure wouldn’t sing about it with a bunch of other guys, let alone tell them to begin with.  Why would I share that need with other guys?  Honestly, I wouldn’t tell anyone.  If the Viagra turns out to help me, I will give no credit to Viagra whatsoever and I will take all the credit.   It takes more than Viagra to have someone want to have sex with you.   Viagra is simply a tool.  When you build a house, you don’t give credit to the hammer that pounded the nails on the roof do you? It’s the pillars that hold the house up.  Viagra is nothing without me buying it and swallowing it. A bullet is nothing without a gun I suppose. That’s why I would give no credit to Viagra if I needed to use it.

What these AFTRA actors and the poor excuse for an advertising team did is unforgivable. They have ruined for future generations a classic American Rock & Roll song performed by the greatest singer in the history of the genre.   From this moment forward, VIVA LAS VEGAS is now identified with Viagra.  From this moment on, when people hear VIVA LAS VEGAS, they can’t help but sing VIVA VIAGRA.  When parents play that song for their kids, all the kids will think is VIAGRA.  Which means the parent will have to explain what VIAGRA is, which is unpleasant to begin with.   I don’t begrudge actors making the money when it’s offered, but this commercial crosses the line.  Sometimes you have to turn down a gig if the gig will cause the cultural equivalent of using weapons of Rock and Roll mass destruction. 

A great song and an honorable profession has been degraded because the pursuit of an orgasm, hopefully for both partners.   Funny thing about orgasms, similar to fluffy little snowflakes, each one is different.  They’re unique biological events that require a unique perspective when discussed.  The advertising firm that pitched this idea, as well as the management of Viagra should be fired. They are as useless as the ad firm and company that gets paid millions to come to the decision to use "Stand by Me" as a theme song for their spot.  Is it too much to expect for some originality?  For something as important for two people as sexual satisfaction, these people shouldn’t just settle for something so stupid.   Unfortunately, their stupidity has done more damage than just the display of stupidity.  The cultural ramification of this commercial is hefty. 

It’s truth time.  While its true musicians occasionally jam, it doesn’t happen often. Real musicians would never have degraded VIVA LAS VEGAS like that, unless the temptation of money was just too strong to deny it.  Men don’t tell other men that they use Viagra, let alone sing about it in public or in private.  Elvis Presley sang a song called VIVA LAS VEGAS and it was bloody brilliant.  Elvis may have used Viagra, along with the hundreds of other pills he was taking, but I have to believe he never would’ve allowed the song to be used in this way.  Men like sex, but is this big news?  These are facts.  Did we really need them to defile a classic song to remind us of these things? 

I have nothing against using Viagra. If you want to use it, knock yourself out. I hope you and the recipient of the powers of Viagra get what you are looking for.  Sex is fun. This commercial isn’t fun.  As a matter of fact, repeated viewing of this commercial will eliminate any power that Viagra provides a man.   Take this commercial off the air and give our younger generation a chance to hear VIVA LAS VEGAS in the correct form.  Even after his death, we’ve sucked so much more life out of Elvis, is there need to do more to the poor man? 

In the mid 70’s there was a classic film called NETWORK. It starred William Holden, Peter Finch and  Faye Dunaway. It was a groundbreaking film with a screenplay by Paddy Chayevsky chronicling a fictional television network struggling with ratings and their solutions to get those ratings higher.  The premise of their solutions began with the stream of consciousness ranting of the network anchor, brilliantly played by Peter Finch that led to the infamous cinematic line “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.  The rest of the film details the benefits and pitfalls of the network, the people within the network and television itself losing its very soul and surrendering to the benefits of huge ratings. 

 

This film is fictitious, but it was a cautionary tale, much like Animal Farm or 1984 or Brave New World. You could see tidbits of truth that applied to your own day, but the actions that were realized in those books seemed so fantastic that you never really thought they would happen.  Well, Big Brother is all around us.   A satellite can focus in on your home from space and we have the power to see if from the friendly folks at Google Earth. The cautionary tale of the film Network has been proven to be absolutely true.   Broadcast television, while many times crossing the line of good taste long ago, has truly gone off the deep end.  All of the networks have come close, but one has finally proven it definitively.   The network is FOX.  The show is called THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.  

 

The fact that this concept passed through all the safeguards and made it to broadcast television is shocking.  So shocking in fact, that I’m convinced that we are going to get a visit from Charlton Heston in any one of his biblical roles.  Mr. Heston will then proceed to symbolically smack America with his Mighty Rod he stole from the burning bush, or come to think of it,  Mr. Demille after filming the Ten Commandments for watching this trash.

 

Everything about this show is filthy.  Americans have to stand in line and go through an audition process to get on this show.  They have to meet with asst producers, go-fers, etc on the show’s staff and tell their life story.  These people want to ruin their lives.   They are planning on doing it and hoping it will happen so they can make a large deposit of cash in their bank accounts.  I hope these people are actors and their just doing it for the a quarterly check, but I fear they are not.

 

 For all practical purposes, this show is a slicker version of the Jerry Springer Show.  But to compare The Moment of Truth to the Jerry Springer show is an insult, to Jerry Springer.  At least on Jerry Springer’s show, these people know this is primarily theatre of the absurd.  Jerry makes no pretensions about what it is, (except for his final summation at the end of each show, which is tender and bizarre at the same time); it is theatre, the more obscene and outrageous the better.  And these people don’t have a chance to win money. They just flaunt their tales of horror, insanity and woe just to have the chance to be on television.  The contestants on The Moment of Truth go through the audition process knowing they have the chance to make hundreds of thousands of dollars. The price you pay for that possibility is to ruin the life you came in with.

 

The Moment of Truth consists of a series of questions.   The contestants are hooked up to a lie detector. The more questions you ask, the more money you can make.  Of course, the questions get more invasive and private as it goes on.  The contestant is on the hot seat and has the option to walk away if they don’t want to answer.  But you know and I know that they made a deal with the producer to stay on that seat because it’s good television. So what we are left with is millions of people salivating over whether the contestant will really go as far as we want them to go.  What question will they ask that will bring it all down on them?  How far will these people go for a chance at hundreds of thousands of dollars?

 

Questions such as “Have you ever slept with another man while married to your husband”, or “Have you ever slept with one of your wife’s friends”, or “Have you ever stolen money from best friend?” or “Have you ever embezzled from your company?” are just some of the questions. These idiots, (yes, I truly believe they are idiots) actually are willing to ruin their lives for the pursuit of this potential money.  They are willing to humiliate themselves on national television, ruin their family lives, hurt the person they are supposedly in love with, humiliate their children, their parents, their friends, and much more.  For what?  Greed and fame is the only thing that I can think of.

 

What is the difference between this show and the shows that were being presented on NETWORK.  In the film, there was a show being aired on UBS, the fictional network in the film about a terrorist group that would commit an act of terrorism weekly as millions watched.  Can you honestly say we aren’t within 10 years of that actually happening on cable television and probably broadcast television?  As long as Americans sop up this tripe and advertisers think you’ll supply your own big napkin to wipe away the tripe and yell for more, they’ll keep sponsoring this stupidity. 

 

This show makes me want to wash my hands and brush my teeth for a few hours.  My breath can’t get fresh enough from the second-hand filth that this show emanates.  Seriously, the fact that people go on this show and Americans watch it concerns me deeply. It’s a horrible statement about our culture. It’s not mindless entertainment.  It’s degrading and hurtful to our society.  We are slowly being dumbed down by shows such as this one.   Yes, we have the choice not to watch it, but the fact that it’s even out there and Americans are willing to make such a sacrifice for the sake off temporary notoriety and potential financial gain is sickening.

 

Maybe Mr. Finch was on to something. 

 

 

 

I know who the coolest man in America is.  I realized it the other day.  I understand that my choice is purely subjective and has no scientific facts to back it up.  But just as you can always depend on Paula Abdul to let society at large down, and just as sure as there is nothing more boring than the third period of any NBA game, my gut tells me I have to be right.

The coolest man in America is Steven Van Zandt.  Yes, Steven Van Zandt.  Who is this newly dubbed “Coolest Man in America”?  Why does this man get to wear this crown?  He wears this crown, not because of one singular thing he did, he wears it because of the stunning and enviable efforts he’s accomplished in his life.  

Somewhere near the Jersey shore, Steven Van Zandt picked up a guitar, and it was good.   In his early years, he hung out with a singer named John Lyon, later known as Southside Johnny.  His partnership with Southside Johnny gave the world Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, one of the most influential horn bands in popular music. The music of the Jukes was a hybrid of  Soul legends to 50’s hitmaker Ronnie Spector, and many other rock and R&B influences. What made them different from other horn bands of that time period like Blood Sweat and Tears, Chicago, or Average White Band, was that The Jukes were truly a product of a Jersey state of mind.  Along with an up and coming songwriter named Bruce Springsteen, the original songwriting and producing load for Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes was Little Steven Van Zandt. 

The first three records of Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes are authentic and passionate statements. Songs like I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME, THE FEVER, THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL and their most critically acclaimed record HEARTS OF STONE, were truly a partnership between Southside and Little Steven.  Listen to any of those songs and you hear the sheer joy of what they were doing, at least from my perspective.

During that time, Little Steven was asked by Bruce Springsteen to play on his new recording project called BORN TO RUN.  He proceeded to join the E Street Band and toured the world.  I saw him play with Bruce at the St. Paul Civic Center on the DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN tour.  Seeing Bruce, Little Steven and the E Street Band that night was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.  We paid to see Bruce, but Little Steven was so strong on that stage. The connection with him and Bruce was so obvious. And even though they may have been sick of the songs, they never showed it.  They took the St. Paul Civic Center and raised it up. 

A few years later, Little Steven started his own band. Once again, he proved how cool he truly was.  The name of the band was LITTLE STEVEN AND THE DISCIPLES OF SOUL.  I rest my case.   

This band was similar to the Jukes, but rocked harder. It also had elements of Reggae, Dub, and the obvious Soul and R&B influence.  The crew was motley. The bass player was a large black man with a white Mohawk who played for the Plasmatics.  With songs like LYING IN A BED OF FIRE, I AM A PATRIOT and PRINCESS OF LITTLE ITALY, Little Steven stood alone this time and the result was powerful.

Little Steven played Silvio in The Soprano’s.  Tony  Soprano’s right hand man.  The character is original.  His humor is there. I’ve heard he walked in to the audition with the character all laid out.  The power of The Soprano’s was undeniable.  The hip factor of the show was off the chart.  They actually made us wait until they were good and ready for each season.  They make us dance because they know the chase is always more satisfying than the conquest.  That principle is what makes Steve Van Zandt so interesting to me.  That’s what makes him so cool.  He makes us catch up to him.

He has found a great combination of knowing what influences to borrow and how to use those influences to create something new.  There have been plenty of horn bands on the national scene and the local scene, but none matched the power of the early days of the Asbury Jukes and the Disciples of Soul.  Steve Van Zandt was the architect of that sound.  When he shares the vocals with Springsteen, the sound the create together is as beautiful to me as any Everly Brothers harmony, but the delivery and the passion behind it comes from a meaner and more sweeter,  desperate place.  You know the notes he hits are right, but they’re just on the border of being wrong,  That’s what makes his sound so sweet to me.

 The way he phrases, the notes he chooses to play on his solos, the tone of his guitar sound, his influences,  the people he calls friends,  the roles he chooses to play, and many other things, is why Steven Van Zandt is the coolest man in America.  Ask any musician or actor and they would kill to work with him. It’s just a fact.  People want to hang with the cool people.  That will never change.  My vote is cast for the coolest. 

 

 

The music business, similar to other businesses, is filled with characters who display a wide array of attributes that display for all of us to see.   However, there are things that happen in the music business that if you tried to attempt in another business circumstance, you would be either reprimanded, or most likely, either never be hired in the first place, or fired immediately.   Recently I saw something within my role in this music business that gave me a jolt.

I’ve been playing music in clubs for 25 years.  I have loved music and sang it for anybody who wanted to hear it since I was 5 years of age.  For the past 15 years, I have created and produced multiple charitable and for-profit concert events.  My role in these events is considerable and I’ve had my hand in all aspects of the event.   As a musician, I have also been on the side of the performer.   It’s a unique perspective that the majority of event planners don’t have.  I’m not sure if having both sides to draw from is a good or bad thing, but for me, it is what it is.  This knowledge of both sides experienced a flurry of emotions when I experienced one of most unethical actions a band displayed at an event I was involved with.

This summer, I was hired by a venue to serve as a Production Coordinator for their multiple day festival.  This was a monumental task for the investors who built this site.  They spent an enormous amount of money on the venue, the land, etc.  They also spent a ton of money on artist fees for this festival.  As someone who has booked many national groups for festivals, you struggle as you decide how much to pay an artist to perform at your festival.  Are they worth it?  Will they draw?  The questions go on and on.  But one thing you normally don’t question when you book an act that has been on the road over 30 years is the professionalism and their knowledge of what to entertain.  In this particular case, the promoters, the investors and the audience were horribly wrong in that assumption.

Before I go off ranting, I have to preface where it comes from.  My influences include James Brown, Springsteen, Southside Johnny, Elton John, The Clash, Luther Allison to name a few.   When these artists perform, or performed in the case of JB and Luther, there was never any doubt that they fully understood that the fact that any audience paid their hard earned money to see them.  They knew full well that the promoters put their financial faith in what they do and they expect to receive for which they paid.   As hard as this is to believe for some, the music business survives on the ethics of the parties involved.  Without ethics, eventually it will falter or fall apart completely. 

This particular rant of mine concerns a group that featured in it’s heyday a lineup of superstar rockers from other groups, who had come together to form the group they are now.  I had dealings with them prior to the show to set up their travel and hospitality etc and they were all considerate and forthcoming. They gave me their information; I took it down and took care of it on my end so they could get to the gig. 

This particular group also did the longest sound check I’ve ever seen, nearly 4 hours.  Hell on the production team on stage, but again, the band came across like they sincerely cared about what they were presenting.  For the money they were being paid, I’m sure the investor appreciated the effort.

When they arrived on site for the actual performance, it was stressed to me and the Stage Manager and anybody within earshot, that the show must start at certain time so they could finish by the agreed upon time.  The stage crew did all that was necessary to make good on that request.  When the time arrived, the Road Manager for this band told the soundman out from to play the intro music for the band.   Intro music for the band is not uncommon. What was uncommon and disturbing to me was what followed.

The intro music went on for 5 minutes, 7, 9, 11, 13, yes, 15 minutes before the band decided to grace the stage.  This intro music was not an elaborate musical set up to coincide with the bands first song. It was a series of songs that any DJ would play at a wedding reception.  As these songs were going on, the band was standing backstage behind the amps just talking to each other and other crew members.  Once the finally got on stage and performed, the lead singer stopped the show.  He then proceeded to do a 3 minute testimonial about a line of sunglasses from an endorsement deal he got that day at another venue in the same city.  This sunglass vendor was not one of the vendors within the venue he was playing.

Why is this situation wrong on many levels?  

The investor paid for a 90 minute set for this band.  They got 75 minutes of live music, 15 minutes of DJ music that the promoter could’ve spend $10 to achieve the same thing.  The audience had to stand  there like a bunch of chumps waiting for the group they spent their hard earned money to see, and patiently wait for these “lords of rock” to appear.   When they did appear on stage, they sufficiently rocked, but the crowd was disinterested as they played their now 75 minute set. 

A friend of mine has a saying.  When she sees something that is clearly wrong, her phrase is “I call B*******.   I don’t know if it was the bands decision or the management of the band to provide this type of entertainment for the money they request.  Whoever made that decision, shame on them and yes, I call B*******.  With the thousands of other things that people could be doing with their money every day, any live musician, are it local or national band touring with 20 buses, better put on a great show or their audience will slide away.

Luther Allison said it best, “Play the Music, Leave Your Ego, Love the People”. Artists who are in the phase of their career where the money is far more important than the content of their show need to re-evaluate.  In the end, bands such as the band I’m speaking of, are damn lucky that people want to see them in the first place.  They need to throw away their prima Donna pins and remember why artists like Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Elton, Billy Joel, Jimmy Buffet and others sell out to arenas and stadiums every night.  They followed Luther’s advice.  They show up and as Mr. Springsteen stated so eloquently, the “Prove it All Night”.

I read a review a while ago about  Roger Waters performing the X-Cel Center in St  Paul. He was performing all songs from DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, THE WALL, WISH YOU WERE HERE, and other classic Pink Floyd records.  The review expressed how great the band was and how the 15,000 people in attendance enjoyed hearing their favorites.   While I’m sure Roger Waters, his band and crew appreciated the payday from this performance, it struck me that despite the success of the concert, something about committing to the actual concert in the first place must be unsettling for a man like Roger Waters. 

 

Roger Waters is not alone.  In a larger sense, any recognizable name with a long history of making influential music in whatever genre must experience the same thing.  It must be an odd combination of gratitude and regret when these Hall of Fame artists hit the stage each night.  Because while the financial and production stakes are at a far higher level than they are at a local club gig, the great equalizer for Hall of Fame artists and musicians who perform at any nightclub, VFW, Wedding Party, etc is the concept of repetition.

 

Repetition is at the core of the music business.  An artist craves to have something they create become repetitive to the listening audience so they can make more money.  A listener, once they hear something they like, enjoy the pleasures of repetition and access it on their phone, I-Pod, CD player or even 8-track tape if it still functions.   For the record company, repetition is the lifeblood of their business success. Without repetition, everything falls apart.  Creativity and production can get accomplished, but without repetition, nothing works.

 

While scholars can debate which came first, the egg or the hen, I’m confident that creativity comes first before repetition.  The difference is, a hen will eventually make an egg.  A piece of music, or a music career has far less chance of becoming repetitive.

 

It’s odd that creative people even want repetition to enter their life.  The essence of being a creative being is to never be satisfied with what you’ve just finished.  The hunger of the next creation is what drives them.  But when a creative person shares their talent and that same talent creates a piece of art that the viewer, or listener craves to see it, or hear it more than once, that’s certainly a financial payoff for the artist, but is it satisfying?

 

Creativity drives the artist.  Discipline provides the artist the fuel to shelf the urge to create something new and come to grips with the fact that something they created years ago must be repeated time and time again for financial reasons.  I think for Roger Waters, Elton John, Springsteen, Van Morrison, B.B.King, and the list goes on and on, it has to be a battle they face each day.

 

How can I explain this to someone who doesn’t perform?  Perhaps the best way would be to go back to your first great kiss. Not the first time you had sex, but your first great kiss.  In the majority of instances, the first time you have sex is clumsy.  Your first great kiss is something you probably spent some time working on.  

 

Let’s say after that first kiss, everyone you met expected you to kiss them with the same delivery and passion every time they see you.  If you didn’t kiss them when you saw them in that same way, they were disappointed.  They want that kiss that gave them memories and they want it when they want it. 

 

Now imagine the person who gave the kiss having to repeat that same kiss over and over again, when they are supremely confident that they are a much better kisser than they were when they gave that first kiss.   It could be much worse, after all, they are asking you for a kiss, but you see where I’m going with this. 

 

When a piece of art is accepted, it came from a magical combination of talent, timing and luck.  Those three elements are not repetitive in nature. In fact, it’s closer to a freak of nature when it does happen.  Nevertheless, for the artist, when those elements come together, it does create magic.  For another night, Roger Waters had to conjure up the magic he created 30 years ago, for 15,000 people craving repetition.  He had to create a piece of magic and take another step in the long path of repetition.  I just wonder if when he hits the pillow in his hotel room or tour bus, if the price of repetition is worth it for him, or any other artist.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was having a conversation with a woman who has frequented my performances for over 10 years.  She was with a dear friend of hers.  They had a nice dinner somewhere in the metropolitan area.  A few days prior to seeing her at my gig, she had checked out my website to see where I was playing.  As I spoke to the woman and her friend during my break, the topic of a significant birthday was mentioned. 

Through my years have seeing this woman and my gigs and conversing with her, the topic of age had come up before.  Each time it was mentioned, she would shudder a bit.  When I would ask her what her age was during these conversations, of course, she would  never answer.  Sometimes I would try and sneak the age question within another question to cause her to slip her age, but as you can suspect, it failed.  On this particular night, the conversation about her upcoming birthday and her obvious dread of this fact, struck me in a different way than it has before.

I’m 46 years old.  If all goes well, I’ll make 47 and beyond.  The fact that I’m 46 isn’t something I dread.  The fact that I’ll soon be 47 isn’t something that frightens me or causes me to reminisce about the glory days of my youth.  Perhaps my lack of reminiscing is due to the fact that I didn’t have many glory days prior to mid-twenties.  I was a person that had talent and glimpses of something that perhaps could result in something, but for the most part, I was a floating with no real direction.  The most shocking fact for me about being 46 is how good I actually feel. 

When I was 20, I thought a 46 year old man was old, damn old for that matter.  I don’t feel old, but I know that as a 46 year old man, I ain’t young anymore.  I don’t want to be young anymore.   I sure don’t want to be 20 again, I sucked at it.   I was in a band that was barely working. I was living at home.  I was broke most of the time and I had no direction whatsoever.  I like being 46.  Maybe it’s different for men than women, it probably is.  But when this woman mentioned again about her dread about getting older, my reaction to her was different than it was before.

As hard is this may be to believe, occasionally, even at my age, I get interested looks and comments from young women half my age.  Let me preface this fact by saying that when this happens, it happens when I perform, not when I’m just walking down the street. The stage can distort things and make the object of your affection seem more interesting than they really are.  Despite that clarification, I do get hit on sometimes by young women.  

While it’s flattering and I’m certainly not immune to their beauty, the overwhelming feeling I have when this happens is puzzlement.  During this puzzlement, my inner dialogue asks these questions; “Why would someone so young be interested in me?”  What could I possibly have in common with this woman?” and the big one, “Why is someone 3 years older than my daughter hitting on an old guy?”

 A lot of men ask themselves when they are faced with this situation the question, “Where were these women when I was there age?” That question really means, if these men had it together back in the day like they do now, those women would be crawling all over them.   For me, that question means something quite different.   Where were these women when I was there age?  They were just learning how to walk and learning how to wear big girl pants instead of diapers. 

 It’s that interpretation of that inner dialogue question that gives me the insight to know that a woman half my age being interested in me sexually is completely and utterly absurd.  That kind of insight doesn’t happen when you’re twenty.  It only has the chance of happening when you’ve had some years on this planet and you’ve lived.  I have experience and I have knowledge that others who are younger don’t have. Not because they aren’t intelligent or fascinating, but just for the mere fact that I’ve seen things that perhaps they will see someday, but as of this point, by no shortcoming of their own, they just don’t know yet, because they haven’t been around as long as I have.  That fact is comforting to me and I think it should be comforting for my friend who is worried about getting older.

My friend is a professional woman who does a job that helps a lot of people. She is very good at it.  I’m sure she is better at it now than she was 10 years ago.  My friend was attractive 10 years ago and she is better looking now.  In 10 years from now, she will be better at her job and she will still be attractive.  She won’t look like she did 10 years before that, but she’ll still look good because she cares about her appearance.  She’s getting older.  We all are.  What’s the alternative?

I could quite easily die in my sleep.  So could you.  I could quite easily choke and die on a Saturday afternoon chomping on my favorite snack, Ritz Crackers with Peanut Butter and Jelly, or taking too big of a bite of a burger at my favorite burger joint.  The point is, every morning we wake up alive is a blessing.  We are fragile while at the same time being tough as nails.  We can handle enormous strain and pain in our lives, but it can be taken away from us in a second and we will have nothing to say about it, we just have to take it.  The alternative to feeling bad about getting older is to embrace the fact that you are still around to get older in the first place.  It really is that simple if you let it be.

For men, I call this rational embracing your “Inner Forsythe”.  You know the actor John Forsythe who used to be on the show DYNASTY?  Now that is a good looking man with one hell of a head of gray hair.  He’s got older, but he made it work for him.  He didn’t die his hair or try and act 20 years older. He got older and we all went along for the ride because he embraced, well, his own Inner Forsythe I guess.  For women, the only equivalent rational I can think of is, well…. let me see…., I don’t really know.  There are too many botox, skin care products and hair products to appear younger available to women. 

 My recommendation is this; women for the most part are so much wiser than women at an earlier age.  That means that as they get older, they continue to be wiser than men.  My friend who is getting older needs to embrace this fact.  As cold as it sounds, she could be bedridden, or crippled, or horribly disfigured, or a thousand other things that would make the fact that she has to experience another year of pain, truly a nightmare.  Or she could realize that she has been blessed to live on this earth another year and given opportunities to do unlimited things for herself and others because of the knowledge and life lessons learned by living another year.  

So, Happy Birthday my friend, whenever it is and however old you are on this birthday you dread so.  How you celebrate that day and the days after are up to you.   Just remember how lucky you are to celebrate it in the first place.

I've slept better in the past few months than I had in the past. Food has tasted sweeter to me lately. My productivity in my professional life has increased. It's as if the days that used to be cold and blustery are starting to actually get warmer and pleasant. Some may call that meteorological phenomenon winter turning in to spring. Those same "some" people would be wrong. I know why I've turned my frown upside down and put on a happy face and you do too. We are now living in a more enlightened age. The source of that enlightenment isn't Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. It isn't John McCain or Mike Huckabee and it sure isn't Larry King or Jack Cafferty on CNN, or Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly from FOX. While these voices are certainly influential, they don't hold a candle to the unquestioned wisdom and idolatry that we are bestowing upon one man. That man is Scott Baio. He's 45 and apparently, we are supposed to be impressed by this. 

Scott Baio is in his mid-40's. He recently got married and now he has a child from that same marriage. He grew up in front of our eyes as Chachi on "Happy Days" and the Citizen Kane of TV spin-off's "Joanie Loves Chachi", and then the red headed stepchild series he did with Willie Ames  called "Charles in Charge".   I grew up watching Scott Baio. He seems like a very likable fellow. He was a good actor. That's about all I knew about him and figured that would be all I would know about him.

I read magazines linking him with a bevy of sexy stars. Bravo to Scott, more power to him as far as I was concerned.   After his series were all over, he was faced with the proposition of what to do next. He lasted longer than most child stars so you have to give it for him for that. But what do you do when 99.9% of the people you meet every day relate to you as a teenager when you're in your mid-40's?  I suppose that is a curse all child actors have to live with.   Granted, there are worse things to deal with, but it has to be frustrating. The only rational thing to do is to create a reality show centered on the fact that the best career move for Scott Baio is not to play another part because no one can see past him being anything else but Chachi. So, what is else is left to do except to play Scott Baio. I actually think that is a smart career move. But the content within this show and the cultural reaction to that content is what is so disturbing and absurd to me.

In this reality show, we see the struggles Scott Baio has with intimacy and commitment. We see how he has this girlfriend that he won't marry because he's uneasy about commitment.   We see his friends wanting the never ending Scott Baio relationship circus to continue so all the parties involved never have to grow up. Although prior to the reality show, Scott Baio was probably not on the same level of celebrity as Brad Pitt or George Clooney, being a celebrity of any level still provides perks for Scott and his hanger's on. So we are left to sympathize with a middle-aged man trying to conquer something that has been accomplished quite easily by hundreds of millions of men throughout history, yet for Scott Baio, it's a struggle. Each week millions watched Scott Baio face his commitment demons and at the end of the season, he conquered them.  Congratulations to Scott, but is this accomplishment worthy of such praise?

I was watching my guilty pleasure "Regis and Kelly". Regis Philbin is unstoppable in my eyes and Kelly is terrific. Scott Baio came on with his new wife and his new child. The child was beautiful. The wife was beautiful and they both seemed very happy. But what didn't make me happy was the commentary that his wife gave to the question "What kind of father is Scott?"
 

"Scott is a great father! He changes the diapers", she explained.  "Scott wakes up with the baby", she continued.   Regis and Kelly gaze upon Scott  as if they are looking at someone who has gone so far above expectations for any man, let alone lifelong bachelor Scott Baio.  As remarkable as this sequence seemed to be to the hosts and the audience members, it made me shrug.

Lets see if I have this straight. A man changing diapers and waking up with a baby is a remarkable thing?  Is it manly for a man to sit by and let his child scream with a dirty diaper all night long just because a man shouldn't be the one changing diapers?  Is a man in his mid-40's finally deciding that he can commit to someone so special?  Is a man taking that long to grow up viewed as being on higher plane of consciousness than other mere mortal men of the same age? Why does our culture, and especially women, put up with this? Why do we celebrate the fact that Scott Baio, as likable as he is, took so long to finally grow up?   Why do we celebrate the fact that the most mundane and commonplace activities of parents is somehow worthy of praise and hero worship if Scott Baio and his wife are going through it? Didn't we all do the same things and figure it out far quicker than Scott Baio? 

This is hard because it looks like Scott Baio is a cool guy, but since he opened the door to his life for money and ratings; I have no choice to but to use him as an example.  This is just not about Scott Baio, but about men in general and how our culture views their position and expectations.  When you're in your mid-40's, you should have it figured out. You don't deserve a medal or a TV show if it takes you that long to figure it out. Your reward is received every night when you hit the pillow and you find someone with enough guts and faith in you to put up with someone who took so long to figure it out.

 

In this world where we tend to skirt around an issue that is right in front of our face, sometimes it's hard to break things down to one word that can explain it. The happenings I'm speaking of can be interpreted as one thing for those who choose to believe it.  That word is evil.  That same evil has been busy lately taking something mundane and boring and turning it in to front page news

There's a phrase in The Bible, Matthew 5:15 that states: "No one lights a lamp and then puts it in a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house".  There's more to that phrase, but you're not reading this for religious words, so I will leave it at that.  However, a few people have read this book and there is wisdom to be found in the words within if you want to look in to it.
 

The phrase about the lamp is very interesting to me.  As a creative person, I want the things that I create to be seen and heard.  That means I'm lighting a lamp for someone to see what I'm doing.  But that same light can illuminate a lot of other things that aren't as simple and pure as wanting people to see what you do.  That same light that can highlight the positive, can just as easily highlight the negative and yes, it can highlight evil.
 

As superficial and irrelevant as this subject is to me, the controversy surrounding Britney Spears has gone past being annoying.  It seems to me that the characters around her are no longer sickly amusing, pathetic or vapid, they have crossed the line in showing characteristics of evil.  Now before you think I'm overreacting, I'm not talking about Hitler kind of evil, but nonetheless, I think there are elements of evil surrounding Britney Spears.  While it may be true that Britney and her publicists are guilty of inviting that kind of evil in to their lives, Britney's version of her "lamp" has exposed with blinding clarity a very dangerous situation.  This version of evil is opening up every door and knocking down every gate to lead Britney Spears to a far too early death.  As a father of children just a few years younger than her, that just makes me sad.

It seems every time something is in place to help Britney get her act together, some slimeball comes along and knocks down the gate.  The trainwreck that is her life has attracted a throng of young losers who are clearly lost and had little to no parental guidance.  Their self-esteem is nothing so there natural inclination is to run to a light, any light that validates them as worthy, despite having nothing to back up that worthiness.
 

These people are called hangers-on, groupies, wannabe's, you choose the title.  All successful artists have to learn to navigate their career and the personal life with these people.  Unfortunately for Britney, she is dealing with those same people. The only difference is these same people are taking hourly doses of gallons of Red Bull, never sleeping.  These same people will never be satisfied with the amount of money they are making.   There is always more money to be made by another's suffering, making them even more cutthroat and never satisfied.  They spirit of photographer competition for a photo has turned in to a hyena like frenzy of baying and barking jackals salivating over a wounded animal, namely Britney.  The difference is, this is not the jungle.  This is not a case where Britney is there to participate in the "circle of life" to feed the jungle. What has driven the media and our fascination with her whole hellish life has entered in to the realm of being evil.

I'm as sick of Britney Spears as you are.  I want her to go away, live on a farm for a couple of years, and get her life together again.  But as much as I'm sick of her, I don't want to see Britney Spears dead.  I think her death is imminent.  I think the evil people  around her, when that death happens, will feign shock and horror and wonder how it could happen.  I'll know how it happened, and so will you.

Britney Spears is a young woman who needs help.  Britney Spears did not hide her "light" under a table.  We all saw it and for a while, it looked like her version of that light had a long beam.   That light now needs to be put under the table for a long time.  That table should have some big chairs put on it and a couple of big blankets draped over it.  Her "light" needs to be dimmed to a flame that only the people who love her, really love her can see and feel.  If that "light" is not dimmed, the keepers and igniters of the flame that feeds her light and exposing Britney lately will burn her alive.

No matter how you feel about the parents of Britney Spears, nobody deserves to see their child persecuted.  Yes, it's up to Britney to get it together, but the glee in which the media flocks to her misfortunes is a pathetic statement on their profession and our own warped fixation on her.